So. The Norplant came out this morning. I was being all blase about it until about the time the nurse started talking about which surgery room to put me in, at which point I felt my stomach start rolling into knots. Suddenly I'm flashing back on how painful that freaking anesthetic was and of course blowing it all up much worse in my mind and then I'm freaking out. Then of course I'm trying to keep my cool in front of the doctor and the other nurses, one of which asks me if I'm excited right about the time I start to feel the color draining out of my face. Yeah. Five minutes ago? Excited. Right now? Scared spitless.

So of course it wasn't as bad as I was working it up in my mind to be. The doctor said it was one of the easiest ones she's done. Really, everything was fine until it was all over and I sat up. Immediately I started shaking, and before long I had to lie back down again, while the super cute nurse (oh, she was cute) ran off to get me a cold compress and some orange juice (which sounded SO GOOD but turned out to be Sunny D and was thus DISGUSTING.) I am such a wuss. Andrew teased me that it was just like giving blood, but I shot back that actually having the Norplant out sucked less. (I HATE giving blood. Every once in a while I convice myself it is my civic duty and do it anyway and spend a freaking hour in the cot with my legs up while they force-feed me sugar.)

Anyway. Yeah. That's the reason for the bandage on my arm in the picture. My fertility is now restored. And my arm itches. Like, a lot.

But at least afterwords, for a happy fertility day treat, Andrew took me to IHOP for some of those caramel combos I have been drooling over, and I had a caramel-apple crepe and it was marvelous.