Unworthy

we need to take some better pictures

2009-12-12T21:28:13Z

big brother
Originally uploaded by greeniezona

No birth story yet, I'm mostly still typing one-handed while nursing or holding a sleeping baby. But I did manage to get a few pictures up on flickr, and for those of you who haven't added me on Facebook yet, here's the important details:

Solomon Thomas Crispin-Schnepp
born 1:45 pm, December 9
7 lb. 7 oz.
20 1.4 inches

Jefferson is in awe (except when Solomon cries, which sends Jefferson running from the room!), everyone is recovering well. In fact, the midwife was just here for a follow-up, and said everything looked great. (Well, except my breasts. Solomon has a terrible latch, but we're working on that.) In fact, his second weigh-in was 7 lb. 4 oz! If you've never had a kid, you have no idea why that's impressive -- newborns typically lose a fair amount of weight in the first day or so, and then have to put it back on. To only be down three ounces on day three is pretty awesome.

Anyway, more later!

a meme, because i haven't posted in forever

2009-12-07T16:14:26Z

Also, because new_world_smurf posted it. And I'll generally pick up most of her memes. As long as they aren't, you know, about sports.

1. Elaborate on your default icon.
Andrew took this picture of me right after I had my Norplant removed (which explains the bandage), which was right after Bush was reelected to his second term. I was feeling despondent and more than a little nervous about suddenly being without permanent birth control right when the Bush administration might feel like they had the impunity to do all kinds of crazy things. Anyway, after a few days of moping and despair, I decided to choose resistance, which is what this icon is about. :)

2. What's your current relationship status?
Married for nine years.

3. Ever have a near-death experience?
Not so much.

4. Name an obvious quality you have.
I am a perfectionist/procrastinator.

5. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
"Not Pretty Enough" by Kasey Chambers, which always gets stuck in my head for days whenever I listen to it.

6. Name a celebrity you would marry:
If this is not your first time here, you know my answer is Karl Urban. He's beautiful, funny, and a brazen geek.

7. Who will cut and paste this first?
Who knows?

8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
Some guy totally followed me around the Chicago Art Institute before finally approaching me and telling me I looked exactly like the daughter in Californication. I have never seen this show, so I have no idea if I should feel complimented or not.

9. Do you wear a watch? What kind?
No.

10. Do you have anything pierced?
Just my ears. Had a tongue-piercing on and off for a few years, but no longer.

11. Do you have any tattoos?
No. Too obsessive and control-freaky. I would have to have the absolute perfect design and absolute trust in the artist and more money to blow in one place than I have generally ever had in my life. So, it's unlikely.

12. Do you like pain?
Ummmm, no.

13. Do you like to shop?
In general, I dislike shopping. But I could spend hours in a good bookstore or bead store.

14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Ummmmmmmmmmm..... A cup of coffee. From our Saturday Christmas shopping expedition in Clare. (It was the only thing I bought that day, I think.)

15. What was the last thing you paid for with your credit card?
Actually, yeah, I bought pizza for lunch during our Clare shopping expedition.

16. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
My parents.

17. What is on your desktop background?
A picture of one of my favorite beaded necklaces that I've made.

18. What is the background on your cell phone?
Jefferson.

19. Do you like redheads?
I think this question is stupid.

20. Do you know any twins?
Yes. My incoming freshman college class (of about a hundred or so) had five sets of twins. At least three of these twins are currently friended to me on Facebook. (One of whom actually lives in the same state as me now, but he's a doctor and thinks he's too busy to visit or something.)

21. Do you have any weird relatives?
Is there anyone who doesn't think some of their relatives are weird?

22. What was the last movie you watched?
Milk, by Netflix, last night.

23. What was the last book you read?
White Like Me by Tim Wise. It was fantastic.

also, blindsided by school picture day

2009-11-03T17:22:16Z

Sometime last week or so, I saw teachers walking around with boxes that were obviously associated with school picture day. I was excited and looking forward to this particular ritual, but a few days passed with no note in Jefferson's backpack about the pictures, so I kind of forgot about it. Until this morning, when I overheard another mom talking to her daughter about the pictures, and she had a little order envelope in her hand. So I got the attention of one of the teachers when they were herding the kids in the entryway, and of course it turns out that school pictures are TODAY, and actually in about fifteen minutes. Whee!

Of course Jefferson was wearing some busy t-shirt that was actually an advertisement for some construction or tool company, but at least it was a dark color. They got me an order form, and luckily I had my checkbook with me today. But still, it was annoying to have to make all those decisions in a rush, without being able to consult with my husband or family members who might want copies (and how many) of school pictures. You have to commit to a picture package and pay right away! What kind of deal is that? And then I heard someone say something about spring pictures! They do school pictures twice a year? What a racket!

The teacher actually suggested that I could just wait until spring pictures if I wasn't ready, but I'm glad that I went ahead and filled out an order now. When I finished the form, I walked down to give it to his teachers and met them walking down the hall to get their pictures done. Every other kid had an order envelope in their hands, and Jefferson was looking a little lost and bewildered. He seemed relieved when I handed him the envelope, even though I'm sure he had very little idea what it was for.

I also wish I'd had time to ask the teachers if it was traditional there for the students to exchange their little wallet photos or not. I ended up ordering a big enough package that there would be one for each of his classmates just in case. I'm sure Andrew will be thrilled.

But seriously, it's a ridiculous racket. If you don't want the ugly blue/brown mottled background, you can choose from twelve others! For only $3 extra!

Actually right now I'm getting paranoid that I filled something out incorrectly that will invalidate my order somehow, and Jefferson won't get any pictures and I'm a terrible mother. But then, maybe no one wants school pictures of the class bully anyhow? ;p

great. evidently my kid is the class bully.

2009-11-03T17:08:00Z

The first hint of it was on a day when Jefferson was particularly out of sorts. He actually cried when I dropped him off, which had never happened before. My kid is the one who wakes up on a Saturday and is disappointed that there is no school. But I think he hadn't slept well that night, and there was a confusion where he thought I was going to be the class helper that day and he was excited, but it wasn't true, so he was let down.

Anyway, at the end of the day when I picked him up, both of his preschool teachers came over to me in very serious voices to tell me about his time-out that day for hitting one of the little girls. Evidently it had been early in the day, when he was still sad, and she was playing with a toy that he wanted. They reassured me that after he recovered himself that he apologized and had a good rest of the day, but still, that kind of news is hard to handle when you think your kid is perfect.

Then Monday his friend Adam had a meltdown when it was time for his mom to leave. He started crying that he didn't want to go to school, and one of the teachers came over and conferred with the mom and tried to calm him down. Now it's always been my impression that Adam was a particular friend of Jefferson's. Adam was one of the first kids Jefferson referred to by name in his "what did you do at school today?" stories, and Jefferson had been sad the Thursday before that Adam wasn't at school and missed the school Halloween party.

So you can imagine my surprise when, after the teachers led the kids to the classroom this morning, Adam's mom asked me if I'd overheard her conversation with the teacher yesterday. I said I hadn't, and she reported to me that Adam hadn't wanted to go to school because of Jefferson! That he said he and Jefferson "fight," that they wrestle around and whatever, I don't know, I guess it upsets him. Now the mother went to great lengths to assure me that her son wrestles with his siblings all the time and gets pretty rough, so she seemed surprised as well that this would upset him. To the point that he didn't want to go to school! And I assured her that I knew it wasn't done out of malice, that I thought her son was one of Jefferson's favorite classmates. I think she mostly didn't want me to feel attacked or targeted in case one of the teachers later mentioned the incident to me.

But still, now I'm left with the feeling of what do I possibly do with this information? Not being a witness to either event is frustrating, as is the preschooler time-span and the difficulty of being able to really talk to Jefferson about something hours or especially days after it happened. Certainly I don't want my kid to be the one that makes school miserable for others. And while I've mentioned before that when Jefferson gets over-amped about hugging his friends, his hugs sometimes turn into tackles, I've never seen him playing with other kids and take it to the point where the other kid is in distress. I've much more often seen him get overwhelmed by other kids' volume or rambunctiousness.

That said, he does have a preschooler's notion of justice, in that if another kid does something wrong, he thinks he should do the wrong thing back, whether it be hitting or pushing in the line to the slide or taking toys. Which we have talked to him about frequently.

I don't know. I am having trouble coming up with the appropriate level of response here. Anyone with any experience who has any useful advice?

things that make me insane

2009-11-02T14:41:24Z

Walmart

price wars

the wanton destruction of small, local businesses

Have you heard about this? Walmart, Target & Amazon are engaging in a price war over a list of expected bestseller hardbacks this holiday season, slashing list prices that normally range from $25-$35 to $9.

For a book addict like me living on a limited income, you'd think this would be good news, right? Ha. I'm furious. As if independent bookstores weren't already having enough challenges in keeping their doors open, there is absolutely no way that they can compete with a move like this. It's almost certain that the retailers selling these books at $9 are taking a loss, as a way of getting customers into their online stores (all the titles on the list are currently pre-orders). Small bookstores just don't have pockets deep enough to take that kind of hit.

Since I can't boycott Walmart any more than I already do, I suppose all I'm left with is pledging to not shop at either Target or Amazon this holiday season.

Am I just a curmudgeon? Because it seems to me that despite the myth that consumers win when this kind of competition heats up, that actually, everyone loses. Sure, you might get a couple of cheap books this year. But how many bookstores, already struggling under the weight of the current economy combined with competition from major chains and online stores will close their doors forever? And next year, when Walmart and whoever else have moved on to trying to eliminate some other form of local competition, they won't have any reason to sell $9 books. And no one will ever hear about the next Water for Elephants, which picked up almost no love from major retailers until months of being promoted by independent bookstores and word-of-mouth pushed it to the tops of bestseller lists for weeks.

So I'm adding independent bookstores to my list of "causes" to support with my holiday shopping this year. And remember, you don't have to live next door to a great bookstore to support it! You can support them with your online orders as well! Some suggestions:

The Seminary Co-op Bookstore
Nevermind the name, this isn't just for religious books. Check out their Front Table feature as a great way to browse an eclectic and fascinating array of recent releases.

Eighth Day Books
Okay, this one really is mostly books of a religious nature. Also my favorite bookstore in Wichita, Kansas. Download their catalog for suggestions and reviews!

Antigone Books
My favorite feminist bookstore, from Tucson, Arizona. Check out the staff picks on their website, just like browsing the front table at their store.

Of course, there's nothing like being able to actually walk into the store, to pick up and fondle the books, to get recommendations from staff and just browse around randomly until you find something you never knew that you desperately needed. It's hard to replace any of that online. So if you have a favorite local bookstore, support them! If they have a great website, leave their link here in the comments! And for those of you in Michigan, if you have a local bookstore that you absolutely love, tell me about them so I can drop in and make a visit on our many travels around the state. :)

Book #21: Spring Snow by Yukio Mishima

2009-11-02T13:59:32Z

Spring Snow by Yukio Mishima

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Jefferson's first day of school was a Wednesday, and I of course had a brain meltdown and barely got us out the door in time, so certainly didn't have a lunch packed or a book to read while I hung out in Mecosta and waited for time to pick him up. Plus, on Wednesdays, the library doesn't open until 1:0o (preschool starts at 11:30), but happily the used bookstore was open.

Spring Snow was the first book to catch my eye on entering the store. I suspected at the time and have since confirmed that it sounded so familiar because it was on Bookslut's top 100 books of the 20th century list. And I'm happy to say after reading it I feel it definitely deserves its spot on that list. I loved this book from beginning to end.

Set in early 20th century Japan, this story plays out against a backdrop of a country in flux -- where families with money and families with rank have access to different kinds of power. Where old world elegance clashes with those emulating the tastes and values of the west.

In addition to this intriguing glance into a foreign culture, are the more familiar forms of a young man's coming of age and the tragic tale of a forbidden romance. But almost all of these things seem secondary to the languid, hypnotizing style with which the story is told. One never stops to wonder how the recitation of a dream or a religious discussion or a rumination on law moves the story forward, because every word just seems to draw the reader further into the dream that is this book.

I can hardly recommend this book highly enough.

View all my reviews >>

Book #20: The Enchantress of Florence by Salman Rushdie

2009-11-02T13:43:38Z

The Enchantress of Florence: A Novel by Salman Rushdie

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I don't remember precisely where or when, but this ook was another impulse buy when I was bored in a bookstore. I'm always willing to take a chance on Salman Rushdie -- even his books that I wasn't entirely crazy about were usually enjoyable or interesting enough in some way that made them feel worth my time and investment as a reader. Also, I confess that I was drawn in by the good cover design -- the rich colors and antiqued gold look. So I bought it.

With my crazy life, it's difficult to ever give a book my undivided attention, and that was definitely a detraction in this case. For Enchantress sprawls across continents and generations, with unfamiliar names that sometimes seem to blend together. I often found myself having to flip back to remind myself which character was which.

On the other hand, there were portions of this book that were absolutely entrancing, when the story called to me every time I had to put the book down, and these sections flowed beautifully with Rushdie's magical lyricism.

But there was so much in this book that it was occasionally weighed down by its riches. Transitions from story to story, place to place and time to time sometimes seemed abrupt. Some details never seemed to connect to the tapestry and left me wondering why they'd been included at all. Then there was that ending -- strange, troubling and lacking in poetry.

In balance, I'd say that the strengths of those delightful passages were enough to earn The Enchantress high marks in my book. Had the rest of the novel lived up to these moments, it could have been near perfection.

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Book #19: Collected Poems by Eavan Boland

2009-10-25T23:24:05Z

Collected Poems by Eavan Boland

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Jessa lent me this book years and years ago. I picked it up this summer as I suspected it might be on the short list of books she would want to take with her to Germany -- she's mentioned Boland a few times as an author whose work it is difficult to find in the United States.

Anyway, I enjoyed this poetry well enough, Boland is clearly a very accomplished writer. However, I felt that I was really missing most of it. Much of Boland's earlier poems were based heavily on mythology and traditional stories that were largely unfamiliar to me. (Darn my lack of a classical education!) Then later poems were informed by the history of Irish-English conflicts, which really I just know nothing about at all.

There were quite a number of poems more generally on womanhood, motherhood and relationships. Those, of course, I could relate to, and were lovely, some biting, and all very intelligent and skillful. But it's easy to see why Jessa, with her interest in mythology and Irish history, would get a lot more out of this collection than me.

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Book #18: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

2009-10-25T23:18:23Z

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
The midwife lent me a whole stack of books (and is always pushing me to take more), but so far the only one I've read cover-to-cover is this one. And I'm wishing I'd read this before I had Jefferson.

Roughly the first half of this book is birth stories. Almost all of them are midwife-assisted births at The Farm, a village/commune in Tennessee, mostly just in homes without a lot of special equipment. Very few of the births had to be transported to the hospital, though those are represented as well. The stories are testament to what a calm and experienced birth assistant, a trust in the power of a woman's body, and the natural process of birth itself can do -- even when the mother gets temporarily hung up by fear, even with extremely large babies, and even with some fairly troublesome complications.

The second half of the book is a collection of essays by Ina May on the current state of birthing in the United States. (Primarily it's about this country anyway, there is also a lot of data from other countries for comparison.) The latter chapters are sometimes hopeful, sometimes chilling, but mostly make me glad we're trying for a midwife-assisted home birth this time.

But this book is mostly famous in our house for two pictures of a face-presentation. Jefferson was looking over my shoulder one day as I was reading this book and liked all the pictures of babies. So I started flipping through it with him looking for the pictures. Most were standard mom and baby post-birth posed shots, but on page 58 there is a picture of a baby where only the face has emerged from the birth canal, and then another of the baby right after delivery, with its poor face all smooshed and swollen. I was a little worried about Jefferson's reaction, as I hadn't intended to give him quite such a graphic introduction to "where babies come from," but he loved the pictures, and for a while developed a nightly routine of wanting to see the baby pictures before bed. At one point he even indicated the face presentation and told me he wanted me to have that baby. I told him no matter how much I loved him and wanted him to be happy, I would never wish for a face presentation.

Anyway! I loved this book. Very authoritative and informational. Would recommend to anyone interested in a more natural version of childbirth.

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Book #17: Homer & Langley by E.L. Doctorow

2009-10-24T21:40:17Z

Homer and Langley: A Novel by E.L. Doctorow

My rating: 2 of 5 stars
I think a good deal of the reason I got so behind in reviewing my books is my reluctance to write about this one. There was a fair amount of pressure to do so -- I got this book free as a part of a publicity giveaway in advance of publication, and they even followed up with a postcard to remind me to post a review (before I'd even read the book.) So, dutifully I moved the book to the top of my to-read pile, finished it fairly quickly, then... stalled.

I simply have no strong opinions on this book. I enjoyed it enough to read quickly, yet was almost always conscious that if this book hadn't been free, I never would have read it. Based on real life peole (which I actually didn't realize while reading it), it tells the stories of two brothers who become increasingly cut off from the world, Homer by blindness and Langley by his bitterness caused by his wartime experience. They hole up in their massive house (left to them by their parents) in New York City, interacting with outsiders only rarely (but usually very memorably), and slowly boxing themselves in with Langley's growing compulsion to collect and hoard.

Now, I have some hoarding compulsions myself, but I was never able to really connect with Langley. And while the novel said some interesting things about the value of community, they were said rather obliquely, and were never in focus. So, to the reader with no previous exposure to the Collyer brothers legend, what was the point?

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FREE BOOK! Since I got this book for free, I think it's only fair that if you think you would enjoy this book more than I did, I will send it on to you for free. Just leave a comment to claim.

Book #16: The Making of the Fittest by Sean B. Carroll

2009-10-24T20:42:23Z

The Making of the Fittest: DNA and the Ultimate Forensic Record of Evolution by Sean B. Carroll

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
It's a very rare book review that causes me to immediately go and purchase a book. But that's exactly what I did when I stumbled across a glowing review while browsing SEED's science blogs. Clearly I was feeling a serious lack of science and critical thinking in my life that day.

While I have some criticisms of this book, most of them stem from the fact that it was written for a general audience (and I'm glad that it was) and so sometimes had less detailed descriptions of physiology than I would have liked to see. But I'm getting ahead of myself! The Making of the Fittest examines DNA evidence as the ultimate forensic proof of evolution -- rightly pointing out that DNA evidence is routinely used and universally accepted in courts of law. Which raises the question -- how can someone accept, say, the use of DNA to prove paternity, and yet not accept the overwhelming evidence provided by DNA analysis as to the mechanisms and effectiveness of evolution?

Carroll takes a comprehensive approach to proving his case -- from addressing common arguments of evolution-deniers (most notably that evolution "couldn't have had enough time" and the evolution of the human eye), showing examples both of useful genes deteriorating when selection pressure was removed and of how under similar selective pressures, many species independently evolved the same adaptations, to some interesting discussions of other historical resistances to other scientific ideas, and why this resistance happens over and over with major new ideas.

I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone interested in evolution.

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Book #15: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

2009-10-24T19:36:45Z

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is the book I was looking for earlier in the year when I bought Flight instead. Purchased at Grand Rapids downtown Schuler's when I was going out of my mind with boredom after spending all day at the Children's Museum with Jefferson. Luckily, I remembered seeing this store when we parked so I left Jefferson with Andrew and made a quick dash for some intellectual salvation. Unfortunately, while it was a Schuler's it was primarily a downtown bookstore -- the selection sucked. Heavy on book club fare and current events, very light on everything else. Nothing interesting in any featured section, so I started on my list of reliable authors. Was very pleased to find this in paperback.

Anyway, so Diary is a young adult novel about a bright boy who -- to put it bluntly -- is having his soul beaten out of him by the atrocious quality of the rez educational system. Finally a teacher tells him he has to get out before he gives up like everyone else on the rez. Which is how he ends up going to an all-white school 20 miles down the road (also his school's athletic arch-rival.)

It's a great introduction to Alexie and his sharp class and race observations -- and I've been using it as such, trying to get more reading friends hooked on him. Easy to read, the illustrations are wonderful (the narrator is a cartoonist), and dark, but not too dark -- it's really the perfect introduction.

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Book #14: Take This Bread by Sara Miles

2009-10-24T19:27:21Z

Take This Bread: A Radical Conversion by Sara Miles

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is the story of unlikely conversion: A radical lesbian activist, who spend much of her youth involved in people's uprisings in Mexico & Central America, one day walks into a church, receives communion, and is transformed. She becomes filled with the idea of "sharing the body," which for her becomes a command to feed the people. Which leads her to setting up a weekly food bank in the church, and then to helping others in the city start new food banks as well, challenging her congregation, those in her neighborhood, and even those who visit the food bank to expand their ideas of community, service, and comfort.

What I appreciated most about this book was the author's meditations on what it means to "be the body of Christ," and sharing in that call with those whose religious beliefs differed significantly from hers. (And vice versa!) It's a thought that I've been mulling over all summer, and it's helping me be less reticent expressing my beliefs around those with more conservative views (Pretty much everyone.)

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Book #13: Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin

2009-10-24T19:18:54Z

Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time by Greg Mortenson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I resisted this book for a long time despite the appeal of its topic, largely because of its popularity as a book club book. And we all know I'm a snob like that, despite my claiming of the bookslut title. Anyway, when Tava sent me a copy, it erased most of my excuses not to read it.

I'm very glad I finally did read it. The author, through a chance encounter, develops a relationship with the people of a small, remote village in Pakistan, and pledges to build them a school. This, despite his limited income, working only enough as a nurse to finance his many mountain-climbing expeditions, incredibly limited contacts, and complete lack of fundraising experience. Still, he somehow succeeds, and goes on to build dozens of schools, despite the opposition of corrupt local organizers and mullahs, a kidnapping at gunpoint, wars and rapidly changing political climates. What he accomplishes is truly amazing, though it makes the rise of violent Islamic factions toward the end of the book all the more depressing.

Highly recommended to anyone who wants to better understand what's going on in the region, and to anyone who believes in the power of education.

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Book #12: Mother Nature by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

2009-10-24T19:08:15Z

Mother Nature: Maternal Instincts and How They Shape the Human Species by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I was finally motivated to pull this weighty tome down off of the shelf after an intriguing review by my sister of Hrdy's most recent work: Mothers and Others. An anthropologist, Hrdy uses human history, observations of our closest evolutionary relatives, and even social insects to examine what is really the true nature of motherhood. As a feminist, she is perhaps not surprised to find that much of what we have traditionally viewed as natural maternal behavior is in fact wishful thinking.

I found this book incredibly impressive and profoundly influential. Many times I've found both Andrew and I reciting anecdotes and arguments from this book in discussions on gender and parenting. (There were quite a number of sections I just had to read aloud to Andrew.)

Though I didn't always agree with her every point, I look forward to reading other work by Hrdy, and will continue to recommend her far and wide.

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I'm declaring October 24th "Catch up on things that are annoying you Day"

2009-10-24T18:58:04Z

Do you think it will catch on?

Andrew went away last night for gaming/boys night, then kind of told me this morning that he figured "I could do stuff today." Which I am choosing to interpret as he's watching Jefferson all day while I do whatever I like, at least until he decides to disabuse me of this particular notion. So I decided to make today all about catching up on those little things that have been annoying me that I haven't gotten done, whether or not any of those things are actually high enough priority to deserve to be at the top of my to-do list.

Caught up on a few household chores this morning, then took pictures of my newest beaded ornaments and posted pictures of those available for sale to my Facebook account, where several of my friends have expressed an interest in buying some. (I'm not sure how many of these offers were serious, but I guess we'll see!) Now I'm trying to catch up on book reviews. Then I have some letters to write, but I don't expect to be able to finish all the letters I feel that I owe today, so I'll probably won't get any farther on the list than that.

What things do you really want to do but just always feel like there something more important to do?

Book #11: Fun Home by Alison Bechdel

2009-10-24T18:41:59Z

So back when I got pregnant and sick, I got behind on everything. And then camp started. So while I was reading books during that time, I didn't really journal them anywhere. In mid-August I tried to remember all the books I'd read that summer in order (not that many, but still) and wrote them up in my paper book journal. But for whatever reason I never got around to updating them to my online sites. And then I got behind again. But at least today I'm aiming to catch up on those I've already journaled on paper, and then hopefully sometime I'll be able to track all the books I missed since then. Some of these reviews are pretty brief, but I was trying to catch up as quick as I could.

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
A graphic novel of a young woman trying to figure out her father's life in retrospect. Only in college, after she comes out as a lesbian, does she finally learn that her father is gay. A few weeks later, her father dies, leaving hundreds of questions unanswered. Her father's distance and the author's early discomfort with her own gender create a massively hollow feeling at the center of this book. It's there for good reason, but still, it's disconcerting.

This book won a lot of acclaim when it first came out, and I've no doubt that it's well-deserved. Still, it will probably never be one of my favorites.

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for those still waiting for flu vaccine (& those not planning to take it)

2009-10-24T12:10:57Z

I stole this off of Facebook. I've heard all of these tips from at least one other source that I trust, so I promise no woo-woo advice.

Jefferson and I were able to get vaccinated for both H1N1 & seasonal flu yesterday (though poor Jefferson has to come back in a month to get boosters for both.) Andrew got the seasonal vaccine, he's not in a high-risk group for H1N1 until after the birth. I am very very happy to be vaccinated, as I know there was no way I would get Jefferson to follow half the rules below, and pregnancy is a serious risk factor for flu. But I know vaccination doesn't make as much sense or isn't possible for many of you, so I thought I would pass this good advice along.

Prevent H1N1 Flu - Good Advice

Dr. Vinay Goyal is an MBBS,DRM,DNB (Intensivist and Thyroid specialist) having clinical experience of over 20 years. He has worked in institutions like Hinduja Hospital , Bombay Hospital , Saifee Hospital , Tata Memorial etc.. Presently, he is heading our Nuclear Medicine Department and Thyroid clinic at Riddhivinayak Cardiac and Critical Centre, Malad (W).

The following message given by him, I feel makes a lot of sense and is important for all to know

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected
one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. *Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but *blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*

5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits). *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

pregnancy update

2009-10-18T01:08:09Z

I know, I haven't made a personal post in ages. As usual, there have been lots of things I've thought about posting, entire posts I planned in my brain, but then always when I was actually at the computer I would forget. Anyway, here's a strange thought that keeps recurring to me:

When I was pregnant with Jefferson in Tucson, I pretty much lived in sundresses. I had a few actual maternity clothes, handed down from one of Andrew's cousins, but for the most part I just wore my dresses all the time. It was very convenient, because I didn't like having anything around my "waist," and sundresses were an easy workaround. I had enough dresses that fit me all the way through nine months that I never had to spend money on actual maternity clothes. (Well, except undergarments, but there's not much getting around that.)

This time, as soon as I realized I was due in December, I knew I wouldn't be getting away with that again. Sad. I gritted my teeth and lived in dresses as long as I could, but my inability to deal with being cold won out a few weeks ago. Off to Target I went, where I bought one of each of the two styles of maternity jeans they had. (Mount Pleasant has a smallish Target.) Neither fit particularly well, but as I just don't have time to go shopping in actual maternity stores, I'd already waited long past it was comfortable temperature-wise and needed *something* now, plus even if I wear them every day until I deliver, it's still just not that many times to have to deal with them.

(Actually, they're both a pain, as I'm always having to hitch them up. I'm hoping as my belly gets bigger over the next two months, they'll stay up a little better.)

But the weird thing is, how *normal* I feel wearing jeans. I almost forget that I'm pregnant sometimes. (Which is a minor miracle. I'm huge, tired a lot, and nearly always have at least one nagging pain in my pelvis or knees from my pregnant-girl-waddle.) Especially when I'm driving, which I do a lot more often as the designated person who drives Jefferson to and from preschool. Something about driving the car wearing jeans, it's just so normalizing.

Other than the constant twinge-type pains while walking, I'm having a pretty easy third trimester. (So far.) I've actually gained a normal amount of weight this pregnancy. I skipped the glucose tolerance test and just took my blood sugar fasting and after a meal, and my blood sugar was good/low. My blood pressure remains low, the nausea is in the past, and while I've had a few excruciating episodes of heartburn, they are very few and far between.

Things are good at 31 weeks. We're well on target for a home birth. My midwife is a little concerned about the trip we have planned in November to Ohio for the Outdoor Ministries Association conference, but she says as long as I get out of the car every few hours on the trip, keep my fluids up and watch my stress level, that should be okay. Of course, if I keep my fluids up I'll probably be getting out of the car a lot more often than every few hours. Good thing this conference isn't any farther away...

yes, I'm still way behind on posting photos

2009-10-18T00:43:16Z

at the beach
Originally uploaded by greeniezona

It occurred to me, finally, that I would be better off uploading my photos to flickr at the library with their blazing fast connection. While this is true, and the actual upload was much faster, it still takes forever to go through all those old photos.

Anyway, this most recent batch is mostly pictures of Jefferson. From our trip to Holland, Michigan & Grand Rapids where we picked him up from the grandparents in early July, a few from our trip to the Grand Rapids Public Museum for the Fourth of July, and then some from Family Camp.

I particularly love this one. At family camp they had these big foam beads that the girls used to make necklaces. The boys participated, too, but announced that theirs were headbands. Here's Jefferson modeling his. :)

As usual, see the rest of the pics at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/greeniezona

Today's food for thought: Schrodinger's Rapist

2009-10-15T20:54:29Z

Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced

thanks to anthologie

I think everyone should read the article, because there are some really good points made, and I have a feeling that the phrase "Schrodinger's Rapist" is going to enter my vocabulary for some time, and then you'll have some idea of what I'm talking about.

Before you comment, I just want to remark on a few common derails I see happening:

The point of this article is not the numbers. The author admits that the 1 in 60 number she comes up with is entirely made up. But it seems entirely within the realm of plausability. It's hard to come up with an accurate number, given how few rapes are actually reported, thus the inability to track how many are committed by the same people.

The point of this article is not that all men are rapists, or that women should treat them as if they were. It's a social guide to the guys who are nice and well-meaning, to give them some understanding as to why that complete stranger on the street might not want to talk to you, and does not owe you her time and attention.

Yes, the vast majority of rapes are committed by men the survivor knows, not complete strangers. No one is denying that. But a) stranger rapes do still happen and b) we live in a culture that aims a lot of fear-mongering at women about stranger rapes. So let's acknowledge that there are things that men sometimes do that set off a woman's danger alarm whether or not the man intended her any harm. Which is entirely what this article is about.

Also, I found this article interesting to discuss with my husband, especially the anecdote about the guy who keeps emailing the author even after she clearly told him that he was making her uncomfortable and asked him not to contact her again. He and I have had a lot of conversations lately about why women might placate guys who are creeping them out in the interest of their personal safety rather than clearly telling them they're not interested. Yes, in an ideal world, I could tell someone I wasn't interested without fear of being insulted or assaulted and be confident that my wishes would be respected. This is so not that world. And it's also just not my responsibility to educate every guy who hits on me against my wishes about exactly what it is about his approach that I find off-putting. I have other things to do in this world. And not enough spoons.

why we're not homeschooling

2009-09-30T01:19:59Z

So, yeah, this is kind of random, but I was thinking about it and in the mood to write a rambling post and so here I am.

I was reading a recent article on Salon.com, Confessions of a Home-Schooler, in which the author describes the kind of knee-jerk defensive responses to the announcement of his decision to home-school that any vegetarian would find annoyingly familiar. Like instead of simply answering a question, we were delivering an unequivocal moral judgment on the questioner that must now be properly responded to.

While I hate to engage in that kid of paranoid defensive behavior, I have definitely been on the receiving end of some veiled (and some not-so-veiled) judgment of our eagerness to put Jefferson in the local public school system. Many of the commenters have had some familiarity with the local schools and almost seemed to imply that we were abandoning him to some hellhole of I don't even know what. Others just seemed aghast that we'd deliberately hand over the raising of our child for X number of hours per week, when our child was still so young and impressionable. Or something.

First of all, I have no idea what the people who seem to be worried about the local school system are on about. I don't know what I was expecting when I first walked in, after all those comments... Paint peeling off the walls? Darkly lit corners in which fourth graders were selling crack to second graders? Kids hanging from fence posts by their underpants? But of course it wasn't like that. The school was brightly lit and cheery. Jefferson's classroom was larger than I expected, with more well-defined play areas and lots of new looking books. Sitting in the hall waiting to drop Jefferson off and pick him up, I get to watch many groups of kids going by on their way too and from recess. And while there's probably more high-testosterone smack talk going on between the boys than I would like, the kids seem happy.

Second, the preschool is a whopping three hours a day, four days a week. This is a kid who spent three weeks at his grandma's house in Kansas when he was three & a half with no serious homesickness. On the first day of class, he got in line and marched down the hall without even once glancing back at me. Clearly, this is a kid who is securely attached and not freaking out about abandonment. Not to mention, Andrew and I took this crazy camp job in the woods deliberately so that we could spend lots of time with our kids when they were little. Since birth, he's spent basically 24/7 with either a parent or grandparent or many of the above. How many other kids get that kind of parent time? Even with the pre-schooling, I'd say he's still doing far better than average in terms of pure contact time.

That said, there are other forms of contact time that he's not getting. Say, contact with other kids outside of the summer camping season. Sure, there's the once-weekly library story hour. And when we get on the schedule correctly, there's also a weekly play group. But Jefferson is much more extroverted than either of his parents, and that's hardly enough for him. Given our physical isolation and the fact that we both work at home, finding other opportunities for him to interact regularly with other kids has been challenging. This has been a big factor in our looking forward to pre-school. For Jefferson, too.

Finally, there are parents who are well-adapted to home-schooling, and parents who are not. Right now? I think it's honestly beyond either Andrew or I's capabilities. Staying focused and maintaining structure as we work at home is challenging enough. I know I'm honestly not up to home-schooling as well. Then, I could much more easily see ourselves homeschooling at the other end of the spectrum -- if it turns out we have issues with the high school, that I think we could do. Once Jefferson already has an established network of friends, plus the many more social activities available to teens would make the social aspect easier. And between Andrew and I, (and my fabulous book collection), we could certainly have all the main subjects of a high school curriculum covered. But that's a long way down the road, and there's no sense worrying about any of that now.

But mainly, we think we have a bright kid. And while we certainly don't have a lot of money, both of his parents are ridiculously over-educated and place a high value on education. So the odds are good that Jefferson is going to be one of those kids who is successful academically independent of a lot of other school-related factors.

So until the day that Jefferson wakes up dreading school for some reason that also makes our stomachs turn, instead of waking up and asking eagerly "Is it school today?" this question is a no-brainer.

For us. Our family. I can certainly see why it would work out in other ways for other people. And that doesn't threaten me. But don't assume that I'm putting my kid in school just because "it's the thing to do" and that I haven't given it any thought. Obsessing and over-analyzing is what I do. :)

first day of school

2009-09-16T20:24:51Z

Wow. I really need an updated Jefferson icon.

Anyway, today was Jefferson's first day of school! And while he wasn't quite as excited about it as Nemo in that very memorable scene, this kid was ready.

Yesterday we got his new backpack in the mail (I was just going to send him with his little freebie Diego & Dora backpack, but at the home visit his pre-school teacher requested full-size backpacks, as you know, this is Michigan, and the required transportation of snowpants and other winter gear is inevitable.) and we also went to the school for their open house, to check out the room, meet some of the other kids and parents, etc. Jefferson really liked the room, and towards the end of the open house discovered this modular marble ramp set that he became obsessed with. Even the promise of ice cream when I finally had to drag him out of there wasn't enough to keep him from a full-fledged pout.

So this morning he was all excitement about going back. We got the backpack loaded up (with paperwork and his emergency change of clothes) and set off. In the car I asked him what he was hoping to do at school today, and he said "Play with the marbles!"

When I got there I discovered the batteries in my digital camera were dead. :( I should have tried taking pictures at the open house yesterday, then I would have known to charge them, but no one had cameras then. This morning, it seemed like every mom had a digital camera in hand. Ooops. Anyway, all the parents were waiting in the entryway with their kids, so we joined in the waiting. When his teacher arrived, she had all the kids line up while she passed a sign-in sheet around to the parents. She also gave us a little speech about while we were welcome to walk with our kids to the classroom this morning, to not plan to stay more than five minutes, as it would be very crowded, etc. I got the message, and Jefferson looked thoroughly planted, so I wished him a good afternoon and he didn't even look back as he followed the line back to his classroom.

So now I had three hours to kill before pick-up time. And didn't remember until just then that the library opened late on Wednesdays and wouldn't be open for another hour and a half. Hrm. So I decided to walk downtown and see if the bookstore was open. I only made it about halfway there before I met a woman struggling home with three full bags of groceries and a cup of coffee. So I offered to help her out. It was nice to have a company and chat a bit. And she confirmed my suspicions that Munchies had closed. Which was sad, we'd eaten there a few times and talked to the owner about the insane hours she worked and how hard they were trying to make ends meet. I'd been thinking that it would be appropriate to pump some money into the Mecosta economy as a thanks for the free preschool program, and had been planning to get snacks or lunch there occasionally.

After I helped the woman home, I headed to the used bookstore and picked up a couple of books. While the woman had told me there was still a restaurant downtown, the cashier at the bookstore told me there wasn't anyone left in town serving food. As I'm pregnant, hungry, and hadn't planned ahead enough this morning, that left me with the option of scrounging what food I could find from convenience stores, or driving out to 90th to try KJ's restaurant. I don't understand why Mecosta is half empty store-fronts, but three miles down the road, just at some random intersection, there's a pizza place, a greasy spoon restaurant, a grocery store, a doughnut shop, and a little odds & ends corner store with a greenhouse and a deli counter and assorted souvenirs.

Anyway, today I was enjoying the weather and my walk, so gas station food it was. Whee. I will have to pack a lunch to eat in the park in the future, as I have to leave a little earlier than it makes sense to eat at home. So I had a little picnic in the park today, then took my laptop to the library to make use of the free wifi.

Time flew by, and it was time to go pick up Jefferson! He was all smiles, and even though he insisted he didn't want to leave, he walked with me to the car, bouncing and laughing the whole way. So far I have extracted out of him that they read The Kissing Hand today, talked about happy and sad faces, and ate goldfish. Oh, and he didn't get to play with the marbles, which prompted a very very sad face. He told me his teacher said that area was "for adults," which I hope was a misunderstanding, because if he never gets to play that marble game, I will have one sad kiddo. I don't really want to be forced to buy a set myself, because I know I'll want one of the fancy wooden sets they sell t Moon Marble Company, and those things are expensive!

But I'd say that all in all, it was a very lovely afternoon for all concerned. If only the library had the Deadwood series on DVD available for checkout, the set-up would be nearly perfect.

FREE ALBUM DOWNLOADS!!!

2009-09-10T14:24:22Z

So, I know I'm a little one-note lately, only posting to rave about Two Cow Garage or other things related to Suburban Home Records, who are really working hard to become my new favorite music label, but this is just too good to not post.

In honor of their 14th anniversary, Suburban Home Records is offering one free album download to every person.

Seriously free. There's not even a catch. Yes, you have to enter your email address, but you don't even have to sign up for their email newsletter. Just go, enter your email address, select an album, they send you a code, download the album, enjoy! Simple, right?

(By the way, I seriously need a Suburban Home Records or Two Cow Garage icon by now.)

And if you haven't been downloading from my music posts enough to have an opinion on what to download, never fear! Their excellent website also has free streaming from each album so that you can sample the music and find what suits your fancy.

(Quick tips for my three faves: Check out Austin Lucas if you're into bluegrass, Two Cow Garage for more straight up rock, though there are definite folk and punk influences, and Drag the River for more smoky alt-country infused rock.)

Then if you get hooked, they've extended their $5 cd sale to the end of September, making it easy to catch up on your favorite new artists...

Let me know if you take them up on this offer. I'm curious as to what you download and what you think of it....

picking mom's brains

2009-09-10T01:32:13Z

So, I've become totally obsessed with the idea of throwing a Halloween party for Jefferson's preschool friends. (Yeah, I know, Jefferson hasn't even started preschool yet so of course doesn't have preschool friends yet, but don't trifle me with details.) ;)

Because I'm me, I'm obsessing all the party specifics already. Looking up games, crafts, snacks, etc., online. But as this will be my first experience throwing a party as a mom, I want to pick the brains of the other moms out there for some basic party etiquette.

The most important question: Is it okay if I specify on the invitations that younger siblings are welcome, but please no older kids? I'm thinking both limiting the number of snacks and take home goodies that I'm responsible for and also so the older kids aren't bored and don't run over the little kids. That seems reasonable, doesn't it? I'm worried though, about alienating or excluding those with older siblings.

Since Halloween is on a Saturday, do I have an afternoon party on Halloween itself, or have it in the evening earlier in the week so as not to interrupt other holiday plans?

If having it in the evening (I was thinking Thursday evening, as there is no preschool on Fridays, so we could remind them in the afternoon at school), is 7-8 pm too late for preschoolers? I don't want to make people rush through dinner.

Finally, this is not an affluent school district. 80% of kids are on reduced cost or free lunch. And the preschool program is a state thing where we all had to file our financial information, etc., to demonstrate "need." If I give goody bags that have cute little stuffed animals (only $1.50 from Oriental Trading Company, I'm not insane), will I either make people feel bad or set myself up as the "party mom" and be expected to give out plum treats and parties for all holidays?

Seriously. I can't stop thinking about these kinds of things, so I need your feedback, even if you think it's silly. This is the way my brain works: I have to obsess about all these little details ahead of time or there is no way I will be able to relax and enjoy the event when it actually comes.

(Also, I would be gender neutral and say picking mom's and dad's brains, but I'm 90% sure there are no dads on my friends list.)

(Double also, I know some of you have heard me moaning about financial troubles lately, but I'm pretty sure we'll actually spend less on Halloween this year this way. Last year we went to Andrew's parents' to hand out treats for Halloween and they have 200 kids come to their house! This way I get to buy cooler stuff for a much smaller group of kids, and it all works out.)